🔗 Share this article This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year. Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist. The Iris Affair Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost. MobLand Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it. Too Much How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’. Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so. The Maths Genius Thriller We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.